It was an extended Thanksgiving holiday peppered with family gatherings, feasting and a lot of car travel. It was also one tarnished by news of another assault on a sacred site in the nation’s capital.
I spent most of my vacation week traveling with family to visit others in the Greater Sudbury area. The long drive was accompanied and enhanced by the natural fall colours. We enjoyed a couple of days of conversation, feasting, playing cards and going on an outing to a natural attraction. We drove farther north to Onaping Falls to visit the AY Jackson lookout.
A walking stick rests after a tour of the natural beauty of Onaping Falls
I enjoyed the fresh, cool air and exercise plus another chance to catch up with older and wiser relatives.
Blonde woman at the bridge over Onaping River and Falls
When I returned home stiff yet elated, I was relieved that one of the offspring heeded my request to visit le petit apartment and check on the cats.
A peaceful Sunday setting in the Tabby cat’s habitat
While I was savoring the memories of visiting Onaping Falls and viewing photographs of its natural settings, my activist friends in the Ottawa area were having to educate the public, the politicians, anyone who would listen about the shameful activities happening again at a sacred site in the Ottawa River.
That’s a bold prediction from someone so naturally fair of skin and hair.
I am okay with that possibility.
First, I can say that because I have brown offspring from a mixed marriage. In my eyes and their doting Aunties’, these children were beautiful, intelligent and well-behaved.
I was often oblivious to the colour of my children’s skin yet experienced some strange looks and comments when we were out in public. The most humorous and innocent was when a child at the local park asked if I was their babysitter.
Yes, they have met challenges with finding their identity, their place in society. They adapted. They survived. Some of them identify as Black or POC (Person of Colour). None of them have adopted urban stereotypes nor have they been in trouble with the law.
To me, they are beautiful humans, the next generation. I raised them to be positive contributors to their community and to society. They know how to speak up when they see injustices. They too will make beautiful babies if they so choose or can afford to raise a family in this precarious economy.
In the 90s, I grooved to this song from Michael Jackson. It spoke to me – except for the beginning featuring a loud, dysfunctional family then the parts where MJ is grabbing his genitals, smashing up a parked car and vandalizing empty store windows. Apparently, the main body of the “Black or White” short film reflects the song’s lyrical plea for racial and cultural unity. That message was lost on me into the eight minute mark. I think MJ also wanted to express issues with father figures, the automotive industry, consumerism and colonialism.
You will be thankful I found the shortened version.
My second posit is that my white, blond son from an earlier relationship chose to marry a lovely woman of Asian origin. I see that he inherited the “non-conformist” gene as well as the blond one.
Their children are beautiful. My grandchildren are beautiful.
My grandchildren.
It was comments I heard years ago from a stand-up comedian that stuck with me and inspired me to draft this blog entry.
Quoting Paul Rodriguez, “One hundred years from now, our children’s children… everybody’s going to be Filipino”
(Start at 1:30)
I’m okay with that.
Regardless of their skin colour or which version of the Creator they honour, I have hopes for my grandchildren, my great-grandchildren and those to follow.
I hope the shared traits of humanity such as compassion will calm the fear and hatred of those feeling threatened. Is it possible that the good ole boys are scared? Are they trying to protect their heritage, their culture?
Why did it take public outrage at his initial comments for Tweetle-Dum to finally denounce the white supremacists?
Let’s remember that this continent was occupied by other people thousands of years before those European colonizers and immigrants arrived with their ships.
The first people had a respect for the power of nature, the seasons, the animals they hunted for food. They hunted out of necessity, not for sport. We could learn from the First Nations about living in harmony with nature and planning seven generations ahead.
It’s going to be a struggle but people will learn that harmonious survival of the human race and Mother Earth is more important than skin colour, religious dogma and power. At the basic root, we need to ensure clean air, water and arable land.
Here are some changes i would like to see in our gently blended future:
Muscle cars and air-polluting auto racing will no longer exist. Neither will fossil fuels.
Reusable energy from the sun, wind and oceans will power our needs.
People will be educated, active and civil. We will see a return to public discourse and philosophical discussions.
Artists will be respected and supported regardless of their eccentricities ;-^
The fashion industry will reuse materials and will not be so frivolous and wasteful. We will do away with stilettos, latex and skinny jeans.
There will challenges with how we define culture.
Some people may still want to pierce their body parts, tattoo their skin and dye their hair to stand out, to show their individualism or create a sense of belonging in some form of neo-tribalism. Some may try to appear so unique as to bleach their hair blonde. I hope the chemicals don’t harm their brain cells or our ecosystem as a result.
If we deplete and pollute this planet to the point of no recovery and have to spread out into the galaxy, to meet and rely on other species, I just hope we can still celebrate and respect diversity.
What was the point of the series? Celebrating diversity. Here’s Star Trek creator, Gene Roddenberry, explaining: pic.twitter.com/toaFoGQNXx
Spring travel whisked me away from the rainy Ottawa Valley to Vancouver Island.
It rained there too.
My objectives were made months in advance:
Travel somewhere within Canada
Push my air travel anxiety limits – further than before
Visit with family
Do touristy things
Do not think about work
My destination was Vancouver Island, just off the coast of British Columbia. The long stretches of flying, sitting, waiting, flying, sitting, etc. tired me out. At various destinations I welcomed opportunities for walking tours and restaurant outings. Soon that tired me out too!
I practiced mindfulness as much as I could, savouring moments and reminding myself to breathe.
One family member took me for a drive up the east coast of Vancouver Island, humoured my request to stop where I could dip my toes into the Pacific Ocean.
Pacific Ocean (well… some inlet) I am in you!
Soon I was on a bus then another bus to the beautiful city of Victoria. I was happy and comforted that relatives were waiting for me, extra umbrellas in hand to provide an escort to my hotel.
While in Victoria, I was treated to sufficient walking excursions, visited a castle and tried food from different restaurants. We had one sunny, windy day.
I spent one rainy afternoon by myself, enjoying bright flower gardens and inhaling the scent of trees in full blossom.
A rainy tourist outing in downtown Victoria
A wet bench and colourful flowers
Soon one of my adult children joined me after his own cross-country tour by train, ferry and bus. He got to meet one set of cousins for the first time. He accompanied me for a walk by the docks, an appropriate lunch and a walking tour up to Emily Carr House.
Lunch at Red Fish Blue Fish – Victoria
As with my tour of the castle a couple of days earlier, we exited through the gift shop and I picked up a few souvenirs.
A chance to sit down during a tour of Emily Carr house
Did I achieve my objectives? Yes! I practiced mindfulness moments wherever I was, taking in the experiences, breathing in and breathing out.
After a long day of travel east, I returned to Ottawa in the rain. I observed the local news about severe spring flooding in our region.
I was glad to be home, to have the chance to do laundry and rest in my creature comforts.
Snuggles was glad to see me too and perform his morning routine of waking me up to serve breakfast and read the online news together. Creatures of habit…
Central Experimental Farm, reaping what was sown 2016
For me, 2016 was a year full of challenges and opportunities, reunions and departures.
I can accept that winter is here and we should acknowledge its presence as part of the cycle of life. Also, I can’t afford to travel to somewhere exotic or warm…
Central Experimental Farm December 2016 – Covered up and ready to start all over again
As a parent and grandparent, I have concerns for the future of our planet and humanity now that the pendulum has swung back to allow for unbalanced, machismo leaders to take the reins of power. Many of us are wondering what the heck went wrong… Yet, I can cherish the moments I had with loved ones this year and will embrace naive hope for sharing happy times with them again.
My gift to readers of this blog is another time-lapsed photography project. You may remember and hopefully enjoyed the four seasons with two trees from the autumn of 2014 and summer of 2015, and that whimsical cat grass grow-up project this past summer.
This latest obsession was started with joy as I celebrated new opportunities and gave thanks while waiting for the weekend bus near the Central Experimental Farm.
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Thank you for dropping by. I hope you enjoyed that. Here’s a soundtrack and some nostalgia for those of you born before 1963…
I recently contemplated the delicate balance of life and human relationships.
An elderly relative passed away after years of loneliness from losing a spouse, falling into unhealthy habits and an unpleasant lifestyle.
Those of us who were able to travel for the funeral benefited from reconnecting with each other and catching up with old friends in the town of our birth. The occasion gave a sobering twist to Halloween and All Souls Day.
It was a long journey for a short visit. The surrounding events provided opportunities to hear stories from others who knew your relative for years or recently formed friendships through shared interests.The sombre experience reminds you to enjoy times with those beings you love and cherish despite their shortcomings.
You venture into the new version of the church you once attended a lifetime ago, the religion you abandoned due to differences of opinion. You reach into the crevices of your memory for that sense of community and shared values. You notice they transported the large crucifix from the old church, the one with the bleeding savior you could not look at as a child. You find the strength and spirit to join in song, to celebrate a life and provide a smooth, harmonious send-off to the next dimension.
You contemplate how we should treat our deceased with respect and dignity. Without getting too elaborate, I feel it’s important to plan ahead for your own funeral, to make decisions for your mortal remains, to lessen stress on loved-ones, and put your house in order.
Although emotionally and physically drained, you enjoy companionship on short, refreshing strolls about town and down memory lane.
Shuffling through the fallen leaves, you visit the streets, the town park and the library where you recall misadventures and fond memories plus learn to enjoy new experiences. You let yourself laugh, share updates and hopes for your children. You dream of a future with the grandchildren who have entered your life and nestled into your heart.
As you contemplate the next decade of your independent life, you are determined to continue with those small changes to improve your health, to reconsider compromise and expectations. You tolerate the brief interruptions and annoyances, knowing that they too shall pass.
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Breathing in. Breathing out. Repeating as necessary.
Three weeks ago, the resident artiste provided me with five morning lessons of gentle sitting and stretching, gentle Yoga moves for Salute to the Sun. That was three months after she gifted me a “high-end” Yoga mat for Mother’s Day.
Like I said, I don’t like rushing into things.
On the first day, the Tabby cat took position on her living room perch in preparation to supervise. As we have seen in a previous post in another blog, she’s not a fan of exercise for the sake of exercise.
On the sixth day, I proceeded to perform the sweaty, grunty feat in the privacy of my room. Soon the Old Boy wandered in to complain and rearrange my sweaty towel.
The Salute to the Sun routine goes something like this. With time and commitment, I shall be so graceful and poised. It has been two weeks during which I think I have succeeded in getting myself into a routine as part of a healthier lifestyle.
I aim to perform this sweaty morning ritual at least five days a week;
I time each session for 15 to 20 minutes;
These are small steps in supporting a healthy habit for body and mind;
As with most challenges in life, you just gotta remember to breathe – and repeat as necessary.
I am grateful for the resident artiste, bread baker, cook and cat sitter for persistently nudging and motivating me. It’s only a matter of time before she turns me into a vegetarian too.
What small steps do you take to keep yourself in good overall health?
Thanks for dropping by.
You might be interested in this book I wrote about a priest, his biological daughter and a retired exotic dancer dealing with family issues in a small Georgian Bay town during the 1970s.
I am a white woman, a parent and a survivor. As a woman over 50 I feel invisible to most eligible men. I do not have a reliable partner, don’t own my home nor can I afford to travel to tropical locations every winter. I will be lucky if I can retire in comfort by the time I turn 60 years old.
Whenever discussing retirement plans with friends or colleagues, I joke that my insurance was to be extra patient with and kind to my children so that they will take care of me in my old age.
My beautiful adult children are Millennials. They are testing out their respective paths, life purpose and independence. Some are taking a little longer than others due to childhood trauma or the ridiculous limitations of the economy.
My Millennials were not handed everything on a platter. We were barely scraping by in the early years while surviving home life with an unstable, controlling individual.
It saddens and frustrates me when the older generations and entertainers poke fun at Millennials.
“Millennials are getting dumped on from all sides – from parents, employers and the economy. “My Millennial Life” takes a look through the eyes of a group of resourceful, charming and talented 20-somethings and the obstacles and opportunities they face in getting launched and making their mark on the world.”
I love my Millennial room-mate who cooks healthy meals, cleans the humble apartment once a week, and looks after the cats while I am away – all the while using artistic skills to earn a modest income.
On a related, rippling note I am sad to acknowledge recent violent events south of the border. Some parental concerns and human rights issues catch your interest even more so if your Millennials are also dark-skinned, dealing with social anxieties or are gay.
They would seem to be fncked whichever way they turn. I know they can overcome challenges with courage, intelligence and strength of character.
I recently travelled alone yet had many people in my thoughts.
It was one of those journeys that you need to take solo, comforted in knowing that someone who loves you will be waiting at the other side.
The geographical distance wasn’t far, yet the detours down memory lane were deep and murky.
Above the clouds
I intentionally left my travel companion and anxiety relief at home. It was my turn to fly again and embrace small bits of adventure.
Before take off and at times during the flight, I kept my mind and hands busy by reading snippets from the Mindfulness on the Go book. I tried to ignore that apparent crack in the engine casing below me…
Mindfulness on the Go meets Tabby approval
The visit with family was relaxing and a welcomed change. Although it rained most of the time that week, I enjoyed the company and reacquainting with the lovely city I knew a lifetime ago.
Church of Our Lady, Guelph, Ontario
My relatives and I wined, dined, toured the city and got in some meaningful conversations.
I met up with an old flame from a lifetime ago. We lunched, walked, talked and drove around the city in the rain. He only ran one red light. The fact that it was next to a cemetery only affected me a bit. Just a bit. We survived.
Church of Our Lady at sunrise
Before I knew it, it was time to say goodbye. I was whisked away to a bus to Toronto so I could catch a train back home in time for dinner with friends.
CN Tower Toronto ON
While trotting through downtown Toronto with my suitcase, I made sure to get a picture of the CN Tower.
There just aren’t enough pictures of the CN Tower ;-^
Timing was perfect for purchasing a Business Class ticket home. The price for waiting too long was high!
VIA Rail Business Class
I don’t travel often or far but when I do, I like to travel in comfort.
Lake Ontario from the VIA Rail train
Train tracks and parallel journeys
I love trains. They are featured frequently in my novel “The Year of the Rabbit“. Read it sometime, won’t you?
Lessons learned on this journey:
Book your train ticket home earlier to save money. Damn!
Don’t distract an old flame with memories and hurts while driving through a rainy city;
Enjoy the journey down memory lane, as foggy and slippery the road may be;
Let some memories fade into the distance as you move forward in your newly created life. Anticipate some forks in the road.
Thanks for dropping by and joining me on this journey.
Good grief! We’ve been getting our fair share of snow in Eastern Ontario.
There’s more to come which would be appreciated if one liked to ski. Baaa!
I can’t change the weather – just my reaction to it.
If one has the luxury and sufficient snack food preparations, there’s always the option to curl up and nap – or read a book.
One could also give in to the soft, white fluffiness as we anticipate the Year of the Sheep.
Aww-wuh!
If you like this illustration, hop on over to another blog where we admire the resident artiste’s other work, consider Lunar New Year celebrations and I entice you into reading my novel.
Thanks for dropping by. Bundle up before you head out.
The events in Ottawa the past couple of weeks were very saddening.
Our collective hearts were broken when we lost members of our National Forces on home soil due to the actions of unbalanced individuals.
Security presence increased in downtown Ottawa for a couple of days. Some feared their civil liberties would be at risk. My own anxiety levels for a loved one rose but remained under control while I listened to calming music, my inner voice of reason, and advice from members of the Forces family. It was a challenge to stay off Twitter, news sites or listening to the radio for frequent updates.
It was heartwarming during the days that followed to see the sympathies pouring out from around the world for families of the fallen and for their comrades. It was bittersweet to see so many candles, bouquets and stuffed animals encircling the National War Memorial.
War Memorial Ottawa Oct 25 candlelight vigil
I suspected even before attending a candlelight vigil that Remembrance Day will have a new meaning this year in showing respect for those who served in the past and that we will soon support a battle against malevolent, misogynistic forces.
During the following week more disturbing news arose, ending a professional relationship in our national broadcaster and tainting my respect for a charismatic talk show personality. It was difficult for the management team to sever ties, to risk a lawsuit in defending their decision to uphold values and maintain public trust.
As more facts are revealed and people are divided in this court of public opinion, I find one piece of information disturbing: The accused was advised by a therapist to obtain a teddy bear as a way to deal with anxieties – and even wrote about it in an autobiography.
Why did this person still harbour sadistic and masochistic desires? Why did this person enjoy hitting and punching women during a physical act that should be one of respect, tenderness and trust?
I also feel a sense of unease and embarrassment that I and thousands of others had followed interviews carried by this charismatic individual who held an influential position in the media.
I found a way to turn this around, to support the good deeds in our world.
During my Sunday reflections, I donated to and recognized a male writer who is participating in the Movember challenge. What I like about this cause to raise awareness and funds for men’s health is that one of their goals is to “seek to achieve results that men and boys are mentally healthy and take action to remain so.”
As a society, we should listen early on if men and boys seek help for mental health issues. In some cultures it may be seen as a form of weakness for males to express feelings. It’s not.
As a society, we need to revisit the disease of violence, to stop it before it breeds in our homes through domestic abuse, sexual abuse and even distorted into self harm.
In addition to November being the month for men’s health issues with Movember, it’s also Women Abuse Prevention Month. I think the two of these causes can exist in harmony to address the issues of abuse and mental illness.
In my simplistic manner and as a doting parent, I also want to say “Hug your kids.”. Tell them you love them. Tell them they are smart, they are loved and they have a future in our society. Teach them well through good deeds and actions.
Give them something to hug, to transfer their love, to tell their secrets, to help them feel safe.
I hope police are still using stuffed animals to help children cope with traumatic events. This practice was very helpful for my family.
Small defenders purple rabbit
I know people who have stuffed animals to help with sports pool picks, ease anxieties, or inspire them as characters in stories.
Owlie as the sisters’ talking stick
I had this one teddy bear since I was five years old. He listened to my secrets. He helped me feel brave during stormy nights. He stared blankly when I asked him the reasons for adolescent heartbreaks. He was a silent companion.
Wee girl with teddy bear
Over the years he became worn and weary looking. He provided inspiration for a character in my novel who also was a comfort to a scared and lonely little girl.
My Winnie Pooh Teddy Bear
If you would like to read more, please visit The Year of the Rabbit, a Novel About Fate, Family and Forgiveness. I published it in 2011 under a pseudonym because I didn’t want to use the same surname of my abuser. I have since changed my name. I recently pulled the Print on Demand version because I want to release an updated print edition with the services of a talented editor and artist. She teases me because I’m taking my time to release it just prior to 2023. That’s okay as I am enjoying her company. While you are waiting, you can download the eBook version from Smashwords. It contains many themes – domestic abuse being one of them. Sorry.
