Tag Archives: writing

Bending, stretching, sweating and remembering to breathe

05 Monday Sep 2016

Posted by in Health, pets, philosophy, therapy

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

I don’t like rushing into things.

Three weeks ago, the resident artiste provided me with five morning lessons of gentle sitting and stretching, gentle Yoga moves for Salute to the Sun. That was three months after she gifted me a “high-end” Yoga mat for Mother’s Day.

Like I said, I don’t like rushing into things.

On the first day, the Tabby cat took position on her living room perch in preparation to supervise. As we have seen in a previous post in another blog, she’s not a fan of exercise for the sake of exercise.

aGenevaYogaLessonsPrepAug19grbd

On the sixth day, I proceeded to perform the sweaty, grunty feat in the privacy of my room. Soon the Old Boy wandered in to complain and rearrange my sweaty towel.

aSnugsCaturdayYogaMatAug27grbd

The Salute to the Sun routine goes something like this. With time and commitment, I shall be so graceful and poised. It has been two weeks during which I think I have succeeded in getting myself into a routine as part of a healthier lifestyle.

  • I aim to perform this sweaty morning ritual at least five days a week;
  • I time each session for 15 to 20 minutes;
  • These are small steps in supporting a healthy habit for body and mind;
  • As with most challenges in life, you just gotta remember to breathe – and repeat as necessary.

I am grateful for the resident artiste, bread baker, cook and cat sitter for persistently nudging and motivating me. It’s only a matter of time before she turns me into a vegetarian too.

What small steps do you take to keep yourself in good overall health?

Thanks for dropping by.

You might be interested in this book I wrote about a priest, his biological daughter and a retired exotic dancer dealing with family issues in a small Georgian Bay town during the 1970s.

T

 

From the journals of a stubborn Survivor

23 Monday May 2016

Posted by in community, Health, writing

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

, , , , , , , ,

This post is not typical of my light-hearted thoughts and tongue-in-cheek observations. 

This is a serious one about getting results through persistence and respectful dialogue with those who help to initiate change in Canada’s criminal justice system.

Over the past three years, I experienced stress and heightened anxieties while enduring glaring flaws and gaps in our system that seemed to favour offenders’ preferences, privacy and rights over their victims’. Each time and after expressing a “what the fnck?” reaction with family and friends, I embraced patience and politeness.

I converted my frustration and anger into a stubborn strength to express my concerns and offer recommendations to those who maintain the criminal justice system.

I pulled out pen and paper and made notes. I took to my trusty QWERTY keyboard and tapped away.

pen and paper

I wrote about the sequence of events, the government agencies I contacted, the circles I had to retrace then break through in order to ensure my personal safety. Although I allowed myself some emotional expression, I stuck to the facts when communicating with officials.

For the past six months I managed my stress and struggled to carry on with the love of my family, support of friends and a professional listener. I like to think I maintained a professional persona as a productive member of my community, of a civil society.

It hasn’t been easy.

I am thankful for the first responders and individuals in the justice systems who helped us get through tough periods since 2003. Yes, that long ago. If I did not personally thank you during the emotional times shortly after, please accept this delayed expression of gratitude.

I feel vindicated that my concerns and recommendations since 2012 have been heard by the Office of the Federal Ombudsman for Victims of Crime (OFOVC), documented, verified, then communicated to those who can make changes.

I feel a sense of pride that my persistence is paying off to speak up for victims of crime whose anxieties have likely caused them to walk away from the confusing processes, and not wanting to be victimized again.

Victims and Survivors of Crime Week 2016

“Victims and Survivors of Crime Week is an annual outreach initiative of the Justice Canada Policy Centre for Victim Issues.

The goal of Victims and Survivors of Crime Week is to raise awareness about the issues facing victims and survivors of crime and the services and laws in place to help victims, survivors and their families. It is also about acknowledging the dedicated work of service providers who assist victims and survivors of crime and their families.

Victims and Survivors of Crime Week will take place from May 29 to June 4, 2016. The theme for the Week is “The Power of Our Voices.” The Week will include projects and events in communities across the country and a federal symposium in the National Capital Region on Friday, June 3, 2016.

Victims and Survivors of Crime Week evolved out of the annual National Victims of Crime Awareness Week. Survivors of crime are now included in the name of the week to acknowledge the many individuals who, having been victims of crime, overcome their victimization and identify themselves more affirmatively as survivors. ”

Source:  http://www.victimsweek.gc.ca/abt-apd/index.html

I am a survivor.

I am in the middle of being alive

BEing ALiVE

T

 

Segmented sleep and creativity

10 Sunday Apr 2016

Posted by in Art, Health, pets, philosophy, writing

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

I think there may be benefits to waking in the middle of the night with hot flashes and a damp nightgown. 

A vigilant type can tour the humble abode, check the perimeters and be satisfied that all is secure.  A creative type can take a few minutes to write down in her dream journal, jot journal or make a crude illustration.

According to an article I recently read, there are benefits to segmented sleep and due to our modern habits and lighting, we may be losing out on times for reflection.

“But though we may feel perfectly happy with our modern consolidated sleep, we’ve now lost that midnight hour between sleeps, a time when we can be awake and alone with our thoughts.

“I think we’re missing out on a time of intimacy and privacy, a time of self-reflection,” says Ekirch. “We’ve lost a traditional avenue to our dreams, our subconscious.””

Read the full article here:  http://qz.com/658571/the-many-forgotten-benefits-of-segmented-sleep/

Black cat in front of Mac computer

Snuggles the cat justifies his early morning wakeup calls

This prompted me to pull out my copy of Seven Sacred Pauses: Living Mindfully Through the Hours of the Day, to revisit and appreciate the Night Watch and Dawn segments without fighting the realities of hormonal changes and asshole cats.

book seven sacred pauses

Book: Seven Sacred Pauses…

I wonder if I can train my body to practise segmented sleep. Will I remember to drink more water before retiring so my body will force me to get up once or twice during the night? In a few years, my bladder will likely perform that task for me anyway!

I also wonder if segmented sleep can help me train my body and mind to embrace Hypnogogia, to capture, remember the dreams and visions, to record them for later inspection and creative expansion.

“In the borderlands between wakefulness and rest is a strange and fascinating state of consciousness characterized by dream-like visions and strange sensory occurrences. Psychologists call this stage “hypnagogia,” but centuries before they created a term for it, artists were using the hypnagogic state to tap into some of their best ideas. “

Full article:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/hypnogogia-dreams-creativity_us_56c5d16ce4b0c3c55053de38

I am intrigued by the bridging of sleep and awakening, of the subconscious and consciousness. I also have an appreciation for afternoon naps.

Thanks for dropping by and staying alert while reading this entry.  You can also see what my pen name Flo is offering at her blog. She has so many ideas about more Seguin Sound childhood stories but needs more free time during our waking and working hours to transcribe them.

T

 

In the middle of BEiNG ALiVE

03 Sunday Jan 2016

Posted by in Health, pets, philosophy, writing

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

We have not yet entered mid-winter in the northern hemisphere and I’m already me-deep in thought.

It’s a combination of effects from the winter blahs and the desire for self-preservation. 

Winter Forest Rabbit ballpoint pen drawing

Winter Forest Rabbit ballpoint pen drawing TAJ circa 1984

I enjoyed many small gatherings over the Christmas holidays. The colourful lights, good food and companionship helped brighten the drabness. This past week has brought us much snow, packed into a very short time span.

My playful poetic plea may be to blame.

I like to think that writing can support one’s goals and dreams, help calm irrational fears while providing a form of therapy. Sometimes you wish you could write harmful influences and memories out of existence, then compose works that inspire and help reunite you with others.

Those in the know are familiar with our family’s history, the struggles due to one disturbed individual. I am very thankful for past and recent support from family, friends and protective agencies. I am curious about the deafening silence from others. 

This winter break has also provided opportunities to putter around le petit apartment when venturing outdoors is not an option – nor a necessity 🙂 

black cat looking out window comic bubble i'm bored

The cats are bored

The cats are starting to get cabin fever, not being able to visit the balcony. At least they can watch the critters from inside the windows.

These furry roommates have provided me with comfort and welcomed distractions over the years through photography and comic bubble inserts while being unwitting channels for my quirky sense of humour.

Black cat beside Egyptian tree of life print with birds

Snuggles and the Tree of Life print (2012)

I really like my Tree of Life print on Egyptian papyrus. The Tree of Life is a symbol that has come up frequently over the years. It is present in my novel, was the title of an odd, artsy movie in 2011, and has been recorded in different mythologies for thousands of years.

Tree of Life Egyptian print

Tree of Life Egyptian print

I am intrigued by the Egyptian Tree of Life myth and the explanations for the illustration with birds perched on branches, representing different stages of human life.

Spreading my wings and chirping politely, I celebrate new life and the milestones shared with family and friends. I welcome the promise this new year brings. I admire how some Parisians chose to celebrate the new year’s arrival in defiance of fears, and without the unnecessary explosions from fireworks.

To sum up: One can be vigilant while not letting fears sour the enjoyment of life. 

I am in the middle of being alive artistic play on words

I am in the middle of being alive  TAJ

Thanks for dropping by and… Happy New Year!

T

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

25 Sunday Oct 2015

Posted by in Health, reading, therapy, Travel, writing

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I recently travelled alone yet had many people in my thoughts.

It was one of those journeys that you need to take solo, comforted in knowing that someone who loves you will be waiting at the other side. 

The geographical distance wasn’t far, yet the detours down memory lane were deep and murky.

Air Canada flight above the clouds

Above the clouds

I intentionally left my travel companion and anxiety relief at home. It was my turn to fly again and embrace small bits of adventure.

Before take off and at times during the flight, I kept my mind and hands busy by reading snippets from the Mindfulness on the Go book. I tried to ignore that apparent crack in the engine casing below me…

Mindfulness on the Go book and tabby cat

Mindfulness on the Go meets Tabby approval

The visit with family was relaxing and a welcomed change. Although it rained most of the time that week, I enjoyed the company and reacquainting with the lovely city I knew a lifetime ago.

Church of our Lady Guelp

Church of Our Lady, Guelph, Ontario

My relatives and I wined, dined, toured the city and got in some meaningful conversations.

I met up with an old flame from a lifetime ago. We lunched, walked, talked and drove around the city in the rain. He only ran one red light. The fact that it was next to a cemetery only affected me a bit. Just a bit. We survived.

Church of Our Lady at sunrise

Church of Our Lady at sunrise

Before I knew it, it was time to say goodbye. I was whisked away to a bus to Toronto so I could catch a train back home in time for dinner with friends.

CN Tower Toronto ON

CN Tower Toronto ON

While trotting through downtown Toronto with my suitcase, I made sure to get a picture of the CN Tower.

There just aren’t enough pictures of the CN Tower  ;-^ 

Timing was perfect for purchasing a Business Class ticket home. The price for waiting too long was high! 

VIA Rail Business Class

VIA Rail Business Class

I don’t travel often or far but when I do, I like to travel in comfort.

ViaRailLakeOntario

Lake Ontario from the VIA Rail train

ViaRailTracks

Train tracks and parallel journeys

I love trains. They are featured frequently in my novel “The Year of the Rabbit“.  Read it sometime, won’t you?

Lessons learned on this journey:

  • Book your train ticket home earlier to save money. Damn!
  • Don’t distract an old flame with memories and hurts while driving through a rainy city;
  • Enjoy the journey down memory lane, as foggy and slippery the road may be;
  • Let some memories fade into the distance as you move forward in your newly created life. Anticipate some forks in the road.

Thanks for dropping by and joining me on this journey.

T

Giving Thanks

12 Monday Oct 2015

Posted by in Food and Cooking, Health, Travel, Warm fuzzy

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

, , ,

This time of year you can’t skim through blog post titles without encountering many about giving thanks.

I think that’s great. I think we should do this at least four times a year if we’re not able to perform the ritual every week at some place of community worship. We can each express gratitude, repeat “thank you” when we wake up to start our day, and when we lay our heads on our pillows, reviewing our experiences and serendipitous encounters throughout the day.

These are just a few of the things for which I am thankful:

  1. Family and friends;
  2. Food and wine;
  3. Books!
  4. Freedom, the right to vote. Opportunity to vote in advanced polls during this longest election campaign in Canadian history; WTF?! #ABC!
  5. Freedom of not having to openly declare myself associated with one particular belief system or political party;
  6. Opportunities to learn about different belief systems, political parties, platforms, candidates and guides. Sometimes, you may not be thrilled with the leader or the bombardment of negatively comparative messages but can identify with some of the teachings, platform promises and really admire the work of some of the representatives; (apologies for that clever analogy!)
  7. Full time employment;
  8. Vacation time away from the daily grind, time for reflection on my experiences, accomplishments and plans for the future;
  9. Opportunity to push myself with my flying anxieties again, this time in a larger aircraft and for a bittersweet journey down memory lane;
  10. My nerve-damaged yet persistently expressive hands on any QWERTY keyboard;
  11. The Internet, virtual and real communities, and blogs;
  12. Opportunities for narrative in rewriting my own stories, taming that inner-critic to bring about major changes in my life.

 

 

How about you?

Thanks for dropping by.

T

Poetry – Is it worth the coal?

03 Saturday Oct 2015

Posted by in reading, writing

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

, , , , ,

I am making slow, steady progress with sorting through and parting with some books.

Now I have reached the poetry piles. For years I dabbled and struggled with reading and writing poetry. I fell in love with the sonnets of a dead poet, was inspired by an adventurous young man, and intrigued by the complexity of writing Haiku. That sh*t is hard to write.

books poetry

Just some of the poetry books I have collected

Many years ago, a local poet and retired University Professor spoke at one of my writing group’s meetings.

What caught my attention during his presentation about poetry, writing poetry and wanting to write poetry was a loud, painful yell “Aaaaaaah!” about whether that was how you wanted your readers to see you, just blaring out words and angry tirades.

He mentioned a saying from way back in England: “Is it worth the coal?”.

From what I recollect, his explanation was that this question would be asked when there was need for a journey by train and if there weren’t enough passengers or cargo loads to justify the expense.

He equated that to writing and publishing poetry. It’s a little antiquated but I can agree in theory.

For a couple of years, I schmoozed with poetry groups. I read different kinds of poetry but just couldn’t appreciate most. Some were too personal or required a dictionary – or even worse – an encyclopedia by your side.  I just wasn’t the same as being raised by a Father who would recite the works of Robert Service while juiced up on rum and coke or beer.

I even made attempts of my own.  At least mine were mostly published electronically.  No coal was burned.  No trees were harmed.

Thanks for dropping by. You may just find some of my unwanted poetry books at a used book store one day.

T

First world problems

15 Friday May 2015

Posted by in Health, pets, photography, writing

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

, , ,

Our apartment building is out of hot water – again.

That’s two days in a row where my morning routine is knocked off kilter.  Yesterday, I was able to perform some work from home during the outage.

Thankfully, I have today off but am delayed in preparing for a medical appointment, performing my errand run and eventually enjoying a slow dinner with writing friends.

These inconveniences and interruptions to lifestyle are good opportunities for us to pause and look at the big picture.  They help us see how lucky we are in comparison to others who have been affected and displaced by natural disasters or civil war.

Sometimes one may become overwhelmed by the calls for assistance. You can compensate by picking a couple of causes that you can afford the conscience, time and money to support.

For the rest, you rely on the compassion and foreign aid funding through your government.

I am grateful that I have:

  • Access to clean, running water;
  • A safe, comfortable home;
  • Family and close friends;
  • Access to safe, local food sources;
  • Public libraries;
  • Work I enjoy;
  • Reliable electricity, Internet service and other essential utilities;
  • Volunteer opportunities;
  • The freedom to speak out and express.

Black cat sitting at computer screen

I am lucky for the freedom of whimsy, creative license to express through my cats >^..^<  They don’t seem to mind my body odor as I sit and stew with my thoughts.

Thanks for dropping by. Where are you from and what are YOU thankful for?

T

2014 in review

01 Thursday Jan 2015

Posted by in Health, Travel, writing

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

, , ,

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Thanks for all the visits, follows, Likes and comments.  What’s with all these monkeys, anyway?

I look forward to sharing more travel experiences, deep thoughts and humour in 2015 while living up to one of my goals to be less “sit-y”.

Take a tour of the blog for my novel too, eh?

Theresa

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,500 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 25 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Seeking comfort and asking questions

02 Sunday Nov 2014

Posted by in community, Health, photography, reading, therapy, Warm fuzzy, writing

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The events in Ottawa the past couple of weeks were very saddening. 

Our collective hearts were broken when we lost members of our National Forces on home soil due to the actions of unbalanced individuals.

Security presence increased in downtown Ottawa for a couple of days. Some feared their civil liberties would be at risk.  My own anxiety levels for a loved one rose but remained under control while I listened to calming music, my inner voice of reason, and advice from members of the Forces family.  It was a challenge to stay off Twitter, news sites or listening to the radio for frequent updates.

It was heartwarming during the days that followed to see the sympathies pouring out from around the world for families of the fallen and for their comrades.  It was bittersweet to see so many candles, bouquets and stuffed animals encircling the National War Memorial.

War Memorial Ottawa Oct 25 vigil

War Memorial Ottawa Oct 25 candlelight vigil

I suspected even before attending a candlelight vigil that Remembrance Day will have a new meaning this year in showing respect for those who served in the past and that we will soon support a battle against malevolent, misogynistic forces.

During the following week more disturbing news arose, ending a professional relationship in our national broadcaster and tainting my respect for a charismatic talk show personality.  It was difficult for the management team to sever ties, to risk a lawsuit in defending their decision to uphold values and maintain public trust.

As more facts are revealed and people are divided in this court of public opinion, I find one piece of information disturbing: The accused was advised by a therapist to obtain a teddy bear as a way to deal with anxieties – and even wrote about it in an autobiography.

Why did this person still harbour sadistic and masochistic desires? Why did this person enjoy hitting and punching women during a physical act that should be one of respect, tenderness and trust?

I also feel a sense of unease and embarrassment that I and thousands of others had followed interviews carried by this charismatic individual who held an influential position in the media.

I found a way to turn this around, to support the good deeds in our world.

During my Sunday reflections, I donated to and recognized a male writer who is participating in the Movember challenge.  What I like about this cause to raise awareness and funds for men’s health is that one of their goals is to “seek to achieve results that men and boys are mentally healthy and take action to remain so.”

As a society, we should listen early on if men and boys seek help for mental health issues. In some cultures it may be seen as a form of weakness for males to express feelings.  It’s not.

As a society, we need to revisit the disease of violence, to stop it before it breeds in our homes through domestic abuse, sexual abuse and even distorted into self harm.

In addition to November being the month for men’s health issues with Movember, it’s also Women Abuse Prevention Month. I think the two of these causes can exist in harmony to address the issues of abuse and mental illness.

In my simplistic manner and as a doting parent, I also want to say “Hug your kids.”.  Tell them you love them. Tell them they are smart, they are loved and they have a future in our society. Teach them well through good deeds and actions.

Give them something to hug, to transfer their love, to tell their secrets, to help them feel safe.

I hope police are still using stuffed animals to help children cope with traumatic events.  This practice was very helpful for my family.

purple stuffed rabbit

Small defenders purple rabbit

I know people who have stuffed animals to help with sports pool picks, ease anxieties, or inspire them as characters in stories.

Owlie talking stick

Owlie as the sisters’ talking stick 

I had this one teddy bear since I was five years old.  He listened to my secrets.  He helped me feel brave during stormy nights. He stared blankly when I asked him the reasons for adolescent heartbreaks. He was a silent companion.

Wee girl with teddy bear

Wee girl with teddy bear

Over the years he became worn and weary looking.  He provided inspiration for a character in my novel who also was a comfort to a scared and lonely little girl.

teddy bear and vase of flowers on a chair

My Winnie Pooh Teddy Bear

If you would like to read more, please visit The Year of the Rabbit, a Novel About Fate, Family and Forgiveness.  I published it in 2011 under a pseudonym because I didn’t want to use the same surname of my abuser.  I have since changed my name.   I recently pulled the Print on Demand version because I want to release an updated print edition with the services of a talented editor and artist.  She teases me because I’m taking my time to release it just prior to 2023. That’s okay as I am enjoying her company.  While you are waiting, you can download the eBook version from Smashwords. It contains many themes – domestic abuse being one of them.  Sorry. 

Thanks for dropping by.

T