I recently came full circle with an obsession and have hopefully relieved myself from continuing a thoughtful and quirky hobby. I have been collecting benches residing in public spaces for 24 years.
It started in 2002, from an encounter with The Secret Bench of Knowledge in front of the Library and Archives building in Ottawa in 2002 while attending a writers festival. The whimsy and mystery of the statues appealed to me. That was during a dark time with my foray into writing, attending poetry readings and presentations while working full time, raising three children and surviving an unhappy marriage. I felt trapped. Writing and networking with writers helped me find some escape and offered some therapy.
I wrote a review of the writers festival, posted as web pages which survived as a PDF where I shared my experience about this thing called “the poets’ pathway” and eventually joined like-minded folks in an environmental group and literary project.
The Secret Bench of Knowledge in front of the Canadian Library and Archives Building on Wellington Street
Fast forward to 2026 when I reunited with the bench and its occupants during Doors Open Ottawa and a visit to the Library and Archives building on Wellington Street. I felt an obligation to see this building and its dusty collections as a 2022 graduate from an Archives and Records Management college program.
The LAC stacks on the secluded 7th floor
The volunteer guides on the selected floors were knowledgeable about the various collections as well as the virtual display for the new Adisoke building that should open in 2027. There have been delays due to the pandemic, the supply chain, and trade tariffs applied by the orange menace and his money grabbing sycophants.
My first Doors Open Ottawa experience was in 2016 and I have since tried to visit the interesting buildings around the city that offered the public a peek into hidden treasures over the first weekend of June. I was hooked, although with limited energy and patience for crowds.
I highly recommend you attend one of these Doors Open events if they are offered in your own city. It can open your eyes and mind to its rich architecture and culture. I also recommend writing as therapy, in your private journals or in a blog where you can whisper – or shout – into the void.
Greetings from Eastern Ontario where we can give thanks for a slow, gentle spring and peaceful surroundings. It is easy to become overwhelmed by news of the cruelty and greed of some world leaders but we can remind ourselves that these events are beyond our control. What is within our control is coming together in small ways to help others locally and internationally.
I recently made a short trip by train to join hundreds of other do-gooders for a conference where we heard many presenters speaking about projects that help local and international communities with the basics like food sharing, water collection and disease prevention. The session about human trafficking was an eye opener. We learned how to watch for clues about suspicious activities, how to not engage but report them to the authorities.
Late lunch on the train. Business Class, Baby!
Attending the conference was a good opportunity to manage my PTSD symptoms, to push my limits of social anxieties by meeting new people, touring the exhibit tables to hear about various philanthropic projects and activities. During lulls in the day, I retreated to the quiet of my hotel room and the large screen television with dozens of channels – or to recharge with a cat nap.
I dressed up appropriately for the gala dinner, sat at the large circular table with seven strangers, glommed on to a gentleman I had met earlier in the day, finding him to be a good talker about his club’s charitable activities. By the time dessert was served during the fundraising auction and pandemonium of lubricated voices, I felt the exhausted need to say goodnight and escape to my hotel room.
My travel reading was a hard cover public library copy of “Atomic Habits” by James Clear. Of the wisdom I harvested from it, it’s about achieving goals by following a good habit system even if it will take a while with small, gradual attempts. In theory, one should also be able to use a system to cease a bad habit. You know, like snacking, stress eating due to the state of the world. I need to apply some of the key advice from the weight-loss app that got me through 12 weeks of a shitty winter. It helped me lose 15 pounds. Yay, me!
Another goal I achieved earlier this month was to attend a live show, An Evening with Fran Lebowitz at the NAC (National Arts Centre). It was a good show but the Q&A session was frustrating due to audience members having to yell out their questions since there was no roaming microphone. I wish people would learn to keep their preambles SHORT and get to the question!
That solo outing challenged my anxieties for using public transportation alone – at night. I felt empowered as I achieved another goal, managing another fear.
An Evening with Fran Lebowitz at the NAC
I have joked that I want to be confidently opinionated like Fran Lebowitz “when I grow up”. One seasoned writing and editing friend advised me that I will need a thick skin if I want to write and opinionate like Fran “…because she gets a lot of criticism, but she stays true to herself.” Agreed. One does not want to attract negative attention.
Getting out and about in my community brings me joy by seeing neighbours and friends, and helps keep the body moving. Just recently, I attended the Canadian Tulip Festival with a friend. More like we quickly toured the many colourful tulip beds on display near Dow’s Lake while avoiding the crowds, tolerating noise from nearby traffic and construction of a new hospital.
pic tulip bed no stomping sign
Been there. Done that. I even have a golden pin from a visit in 1987.
We escaped the colourful chaos by walking the dusty, winding paths to the Arboretum. Once we reached the peaceful, green surroundings, we sat on a bench to enjoy a snack and a sip of water.
At this stage in life, one has to be aware of how much fluid one consumes when out and about else one will be seeking washroom facilities.
I even shared bits of my PB&J sandwich with a curious grey squirrel.
The final attraction of our tour was to introduce my friend to the old Bebb’s Oak tree I had befriended over 20 years ago when participating in an environmental fundraiser. As I rounded the corner of the fundraising path, the tree’s image reminded me of a photo of my late bearded Father leaning on a cane. The old fella is still there, his long, thick limbs propped up, but has lost a few due to wind storms. He is surrounded by protective fencing lest a human should become injured or children try to climb him. That brought nostalgia from the days I would take three offspring there for picnics. I just wanted to say hello and farewell before management decides his fate. I am ready to say goodbye.
Short blonde woman standing in front of an ageing oak tree
In closing, I am thankful for the cool, gentle spring. I am bracing for the summer heat thanks to two air conditioners installed with the help of two adult offspring. As long as the power grid holds up, I can retreat to my humble home for comfort, settling in to read a good book.
Note: The term “Small Achievable Goals” was inspired by a CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation) comedy series. It’s a “comedy following Kris and Julie, two wildly different women on an unpredictable journey of transformation as they battle menopause, midlife and making a podcast – together.”https://gem.cbc.ca/small-achievable-goals
I can relate. According to a Google search AI summary, an alternate definition for the term is “granular objectives broken down from larger ambitions”. Sort of like those Atomic Habits I was reading about. I like it when things come together with a shared theme, wrapped in a pretty bow.
The past couple of weeks have brought small, joyous celebrations with friends to help me mark another orbit around the sun.
I am constantly aware of the struggles and injustices happening outside my little corner of the world, reassuring myself that I am helping in a small way with occasional charitable donations to humanitarian movements.
This birthday doesn’t mark a notable milestone in age yet it marks the completion of one year being retired from full-time work. What a year it has been with enjoying slow mornings, walks around the community, volunteer activities with purpose, and afternoon naps.
My favourite response when people ask how things are going with retirement is: Less responsibilities, less stress, and … less income.
During my birthday month, I have enjoyed light meals and catch-up chats with old work colleagues, Rotary club volunteers and close friends.
My favourite birthday gift: F*ck it blank journal and fine tip markers
At my advancing age, I don’t need more “stuff” yet some of the lovely birthday gifts have brought me joy, laughter and an obligation to release the inner artist child.
One of the best ways to help me celebrate is to share in a meal, tasty treats and engage in meaningful conversation. Getting out for “fart walks” after meals is also appreciated – depending on the comfort level with walking companions.
A bench in the evening haze near the Nepean Sailing Club walking path along the Ottawa River
When the weather conditions are kinder, I like to get out for walks around the community, walks with friends or solo walks that are longer than the usual grocery run. When I get too comfortable on the couch for too long, I motivate myself by repeating a fun quote to get up and “move it, move it”, to get the blood flowing while performing light housework and chores.
Tabby Cat peering out from her home office cubicle
Sometimes, when I am planted in the wee corner office at my laptop, the old Tabby Cat likes to observe and supervise me from her various perches or hiding places. Her timing is impeccable during Zoom meetings, mewing loudly and demanding attention.
What about you? What are you doing to ensure a healthy and enjoyable retirement?
Deep Blonde Thoughts 