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Deep Blonde Thoughts

~ Emitting thoughts, tongue-in-cheek observations on life and lifestyles

Deep Blonde Thoughts

Tag Archives: anxieties

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

25 Sunday Oct 2015

Posted by shewrite63 in Health, reading, therapy, Travel, writing

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

airplanes, anxieties, automobiles, books, family, friends, love, reading, relationships, romance, trains, travel, vacations, writing

I recently travelled alone yet had many people in my thoughts.

It was one of those journeys that you need to take solo, comforted in knowing that someone who loves you will be waiting at the other side. 

The geographical distance wasn’t far, yet the detours down memory lane were deep and murky.

Air Canada flight above the clouds

Above the clouds

I intentionally left my travel companion and anxiety relief at home. It was my turn to fly again and embrace small bits of adventure.

Before take off and at times during the flight, I kept my mind and hands busy by reading snippets from the Mindfulness on the Go book. I tried to ignore that apparent crack in the engine casing below me…

Mindfulness on the Go book and tabby cat

Mindfulness on the Go meets Tabby approval

The visit with family was relaxing and a welcomed change. Although it rained most of the time that week, I enjoyed the company and reacquainting with the lovely city I knew a lifetime ago.

Church of our Lady Guelp

Church of Our Lady, Guelph, Ontario

My relatives and I wined, dined, toured the city and got in some meaningful conversations.

I met up with an old flame from a lifetime ago. We lunched, walked, talked and drove around the city in the rain. He only ran one red light. The fact that it was next to a cemetery only affected me a bit. Just a bit. We survived.

Church of Our Lady at sunrise

Church of Our Lady at sunrise

Before I knew it, it was time to say goodbye. I was whisked away to a bus to Toronto so I could catch a train back home in time for dinner with friends.

CN Tower Toronto ON

CN Tower Toronto ON

While trotting through downtown Toronto with my suitcase, I made sure to get a picture of the CN Tower.

There just aren’t enough pictures of the CN Tower  ;-^ 

Timing was perfect for purchasing a Business Class ticket home. The price for waiting too long was high! 

VIA Rail Business Class

VIA Rail Business Class

I don’t travel often or far but when I do, I like to travel in comfort.

ViaRailLakeOntario

Lake Ontario from the VIA Rail train

ViaRailTracks

Train tracks and parallel journeys

I love trains. They are featured frequently in my novel “The Year of the Rabbit“.  Read it sometime, won’t you?

Lessons learned on this journey:

  • Book your train ticket home earlier to save money. Damn!
  • Don’t distract an old flame with memories and hurts while driving through a rainy city;
  • Enjoy the journey down memory lane, as foggy and slippery the road may be;
  • Let some memories fade into the distance as you move forward in your newly created life. Anticipate some forks in the road.

Thanks for dropping by and joining me on this journey.

T

Keeners and coffee drinkers

24 Sunday May 2015

Posted by shewrite63 in community, Health, pets, reading, writing

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

anxieties, books, careers, cats, change, coffee, conferences, destiny, energy, learning, networking, reading, stress, training, volunteer, work

For most of this week, I was up and out of the house earlier than usual.

I was not bright-eyed and bushy-tailed yet I was fuelled on at least one cup of instant coffee in addition to a rushed breakfast. I think my early departures had one of the cats concerned although he received his breakfast and a hug from the servant woman –  plus she took time to scoop out the litter box.

Black cat in bed with comic bubble

I attended a three-day conference that is prominent in my annual learning plan at the work place.  This year’s theme was Design Your Destiny. Live the Change. I was pleased when organizers announced the theme many months ago.

Design your Destiny, Live the Change. Call for @dpi_canada PDW2015 presenters is on! http://t.co/8WwzMSaCQI I really like the theme, folks!

— Theresa Jamone (@tjamone) July 27, 2014

It was great to catch up with old volunteer acquaintances, to listen to interesting session presentations and inspiring keynote speakers.  We were well-fed, body and mind.  By Friday afternoon I was tuckered out, body and mind despite the nutritious meals and copious cups of coffee during the day.

As an introverted person, I can become overwhelmed and tired out after too much socializing and networking.  I need to retreat to a quiet corner to rest, reflect and re-energize. I am not being rude :-] 

At least I managed to focus and scratch out handwritten notes in the program booklet and identify key points. This afternoon, I deciphered my handwriting and created a point-form report (in the rare event that my boss would ask). Next I created a word cloud (Thanks, Wordle) to highlight the frequent words from key messages.

word cloud

Word cloud from key points in my conference notes

This weekend, I started my first day of a new volunteer gig that requires less time sitting. Momma needs to move her body more.

Looking forward to a new volunteer activity this weekend, something that means less time sitting at a computer. Yay! Less #CatOnLap too.

— Theresa Jamone (@tjamone) May 23, 2015

Due to a combination of communication assumptions by a resident message-taker and unintentional omissions, I arrived by city bus three hours early.

When you’re a keener possessing vague logistical information, you just may show up 3 hours early for your new volunteer gig. That’s okay.

— Theresa Jamone (@tjamone) May 23, 2015

That’s okay.  I was able to take in a healthy walk, have an early lunch and become familiar with my surroundings.  The ensuing volunteer activity was slightly overwhelming yet provided an educational experience. It was the beginning of new opportunities to support literacy in my community. I look forward to more.

Today, I serendipitously tripped upon a quote by one of my favourite authors:

I can control my destiny, but not my fate. Destiny means there are opportunities to turn right or left, but fate is a one-way street. I believe we all have the choice as to whether we fulfil our destiny, but our fate is sealed. ~ Paulo Coelho

During web distractions between today’s glamorous domestic duties, I also learned possible explanations why cats bolt from their litter boxes after pooping and run around the house like fools.

Now you know too. You’re welcome. 

Cat box haiku. Apologies to the serious poets.

Thanks for dropping by.

T

Seeking comfort and asking questions

02 Sunday Nov 2014

Posted by shewrite63 in community, Health, photography, reading, therapy, Warm fuzzy, writing

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

anxieties, candlelight vigil, children, comfort, expressing, family, kindness, men and women, men's health, mental health, National Forces, respect, teddy bear, teddy bears, toys, writing

The events in Ottawa the past couple of weeks were very saddening. 

Our collective hearts were broken when we lost members of our National Forces on home soil due to the actions of unbalanced individuals.

Security presence increased in downtown Ottawa for a couple of days. Some feared their civil liberties would be at risk.  My own anxiety levels for a loved one rose but remained under control while I listened to calming music, my inner voice of reason, and advice from members of the Forces family.  It was a challenge to stay off Twitter, news sites or listening to the radio for frequent updates.

It was heartwarming during the days that followed to see the sympathies pouring out from around the world for families of the fallen and for their comrades.  It was bittersweet to see so many candles, bouquets and stuffed animals encircling the National War Memorial.

War Memorial Ottawa Oct 25 vigil

War Memorial Ottawa Oct 25 candlelight vigil

I suspected even before attending a candlelight vigil that Remembrance Day will have a new meaning this year in showing respect for those who served in the past and that we will soon support a battle against malevolent, misogynistic forces.

During the following week more disturbing news arose, ending a professional relationship in our national broadcaster and tainting my respect for a charismatic talk show personality.  It was difficult for the management team to sever ties, to risk a lawsuit in defending their decision to uphold values and maintain public trust.

As more facts are revealed and people are divided in this court of public opinion, I find one piece of information disturbing: The accused was advised by a therapist to obtain a teddy bear as a way to deal with anxieties – and even wrote about it in an autobiography.

Why did this person still harbour sadistic and masochistic desires? Why did this person enjoy hitting and punching women during a physical act that should be one of respect, tenderness and trust?

I also feel a sense of unease and embarrassment that I and thousands of others had followed interviews carried by this charismatic individual who held an influential position in the media.

I found a way to turn this around, to support the good deeds in our world.

During my Sunday reflections, I donated to and recognized a male writer who is participating in the Movember challenge.  What I like about this cause to raise awareness and funds for men’s health is that one of their goals is to “seek to achieve results that men and boys are mentally healthy and take action to remain so.”

As a society, we should listen early on if men and boys seek help for mental health issues. In some cultures it may be seen as a form of weakness for males to express feelings.  It’s not.

As a society, we need to revisit the disease of violence, to stop it before it breeds in our homes through domestic abuse, sexual abuse and even distorted into self harm.

In addition to November being the month for men’s health issues with Movember, it’s also Women Abuse Prevention Month. I think the two of these causes can exist in harmony to address the issues of abuse and mental illness.

In my simplistic manner and as a doting parent, I also want to say “Hug your kids.”.  Tell them you love them. Tell them they are smart, they are loved and they have a future in our society. Teach them well through good deeds and actions.

Give them something to hug, to transfer their love, to tell their secrets, to help them feel safe.

I hope police are still using stuffed animals to help children cope with traumatic events.  This practice was very helpful for my family.

purple stuffed rabbit

Small defenders purple rabbit

I know people who have stuffed animals to help with sports pool picks, ease anxieties, or inspire them as characters in stories.

Owlie talking stick

Owlie as the sisters’ talking stick 

I had this one teddy bear since I was five years old.  He listened to my secrets.  He helped me feel brave during stormy nights. He stared blankly when I asked him the reasons for adolescent heartbreaks. He was a silent companion.

Wee girl with teddy bear

Wee girl with teddy bear

Over the years he became worn and weary looking.  He provided inspiration for a character in my novel who also was a comfort to a scared and lonely little girl.

teddy bear and vase of flowers on a chair

My Winnie Pooh Teddy Bear

If you would like to read more, please visit The Year of the Rabbit, a Novel About Fate, Family and Forgiveness.  I published it in 2011 under a pseudonym because I didn’t want to use the same surname of my abuser.  I have since changed my name.   I recently pulled the Print on Demand version because I want to release an updated print edition with the services of a talented editor and artist.  She teases me because I’m taking my time to release it just prior to 2023. That’s okay as I am enjoying her company.  While you are waiting, you can download the eBook version from Smashwords. It contains many themes – domestic abuse being one of them.  Sorry. 

Thanks for dropping by.

T

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